The Gravy Train is ripe in the Land of Mears

The Gravy Train

The gravy train crew in a certain distant county realizing the great tides of public sentiment were against their conspiracy and in favor of farmers ' " freedom , " held a secret meeting of their triple - x committee- mien in an upper room over a potato warehouse . Mr. Rustyplow rose and asked that the roll be called because it wouldn't take very long . So Mr. Swivel chair turned to Mr. Grouse and asked him to call the roll of the gravy train to see if all the brakemen and baggagemen were present . And Mr. Grouse began : " Mr. Thistledown . " " Here , " " Mr. Rustyplow , " " On deck , " " Mr. Harold Birdshott , " " Coming . " " Mr. Char- lie Omnibus , " " Yep , " " Mr. Canthook , " " Yaw , " " Mr. Simon Ragweed . " " Sure , " " Mr. Milkweed Pod , " " Spreading . " " Mr. Worstoffer , " " Present , " " Mr. Fred Quinine , " " Yep , " " Mr. Mushmelon , " " Over here . " and so on around the stove . Then Mr. Thistledown got up and addressed the chair : " Seeing there is nobody here except our own crowd we might as well discuss things frankly . Now you know , and I know , we don't worry so much about the condition of the soil in this here county . Why should we care about our farms ? We can let them stand . We can let them grow up to weeds as long as we can get plenty of Triple - X com- mmittee work and ride the gravy train , Look at you . Mr. Swivel Chair , for instance . Comes spring and you are still looking around to hire somebody to harvest your last year's corn crop , still standing in the Lows with the ears on . It's the same with the rest of us . As long as you can get $ 8 a day turning in a swivel chair , as long as Mr. Ommibus can get $ 6 a day telling farmers they can have a little fence or they can't , as long as Mr. Rustyplow is willing to let the chickens roost on the handles of his John Deere , as long as we fellows on the gravy train can get $ 5 for a few hours of wheel - pushing and fence - sitting telling the regular farmers how to farm . what the hell do we care what becomes of our farms or if our barnyard gate hangs on one hinge ? But we have to look after the future of our " profession . " We have to perpetu- ate ourselves in office . We want to keep our free pass on the gravy

train for the next 30 years . So here's how we got to do it . We got to make a big fuss about how concerned we are about the future of the precious soil on their farms , we got to make them believe the bottom will drop out of the world if they don't get a soil district here at once . You know and I know we don't care if the toads eat all the soil up as long as we can ride on the gravy train . But we just got to pull the wool over their eyes for the benefit of our profession . God knows we don't want to go back on our farms and really farm them and get dirt on our hands . We want to spend the rest of our lives telling the other fellow how to farm . But if we can only succeed in pulling the wool over the farmers ' eyes we can have a long , long ride on the gravy train . And maybe some of us , like Mr. Grouse and myself , can succeed in get- ting Pullman berths like Mr. Swivelchair has so long enjoyed . " Then Mr. Thistledown sat down and other baggagemen concurred . Mr. Milk- weed Pod slapped Mr. Rustyplow on the back and said : " Ain't it the truth ? But don't let this speech get out of this potato hall or we'll all be out of a job and will have to go back planting corn just like the common dirt farmers . " Mr. Swivelchair said : " We will now close the meeting with our wheelbarrow doxology , and let every last conductor and baggageman of you join in our favorite hymn : May I be carried to the skies On flowery beds of ease , A nice hair mattress just my size and a downy pillow , please . ' " To Keith Corliss in Mears for fresh home - grown strawberries . Lots of baked goods for picnic lunches . adv .

-Swift Lathers addressed the Lions ' Club of Muskegon Tuesday noon at their luncheon meeting at the Occidental hotel . He told them things were a little quiet in Mears so he came down to Muskegon to hear the Lions roar.-Mr. Ahlstedt , the new Swedish Mission minister , has arrived in Mears and is staying at the home of Mrs. Clara Davis . No doubt there will be preaching Sunday . - Busy as we are , we appreci ate your business , but we request you to please make an appointment if you want work done on your car . Steen's Super Service , home of Blu Sunoco , in Hart , adv . - Mears was very happy Tuesday night to have outdoor movies going again . Jerome Schaner entertained the crowd with a good talkie film over beside the hardware store after the blackout . Owing to short notice , the presentation of the show was not noised around so much outside of the village , but about a dozen cars were there and a collection was taken up . Jerome Schaner says another show next Tuesday evening presenting two films , " The Call Of The Wild " and " The Singing Plumber . " Come out and bring your pocket book along so you can drop something in the collection . These summer outdoor movies are a fine thing for Mears and we want to encourage Mr. Schaner for bringing these pictures to Mears . adv . - Far away in the armed services Floyd Fox's mental eyes sometimes travel back to the little pool in his home back yard where the forget - me - nots bloom on the crest beyond and the birds splash in the morning . - PLANTS FOR SALE , " lots of them . " Early Wakefield and Danish Ballhead cabbage ; Bonny Best , John Baer and Marglobe tomatoes . 10e a dozen . 75e a hundred . Telephone 34F13 , three miles north of Hart on US - 31 . Mrs. Charles Schaner - Billo Lathers entertained the Mears school garden club at a party at his home Tuesday evening . About 20 were present . The young folks during the blackout played games and music in the moonlight . Three cottages at Silver Lake to rent . Gerald En- sing , phone 19F21 . - Now remember , the soil election is next Saturday . June 26 , from 2 p . m . to 10 p . m . Golden . Claybanks , Grant , Renoua . Elbridge and Crystal townships will each vote in their own town ball . Newfield and Greenwood will vote in the Newfield town hall in Hes

our

perio . Pentwater and Weare vote at Smith's Corner's town hall . Shel- by township will vote at the Co - op hall . In Hart township vote at the village council room . Who can vote ? Everybody who owns property outside of the incorporated villages , whether you own a farm or even a village lot in Mears , Ferry , Crystal Valley , Rothbury , New Era or an inch of ground outside of the incorporated villages can vote . You vote if your name appears in the deed or if you are buying the property on contract . Vote NO on Saturday , June 26 , and help bury this odious soil district so deep that even the dogs can't dig it out . It savors of dic- tators , and we want to keep Oceana county free from dictators . We want to keep the freedom to till our soil as we see fit . Keep the hand of the dictators off your plow handle . Let's stay American . - A Court of Honor for Mears troop No. 47 was held June 16 at the Methodist church . Area officials E. H. Tryon and Louis Meisch were present , Second class awards went to Richard Fuller , Stanley Riggs and Fred Riley . Star Scout awards to Donald Wood and Billy Brubaker . Life Scout awards to Billo Lathers , McKinley Schrumpf , John Riley and Manley Robinson . Eagle Bronze Palms to Donald Brubaker , Eddie Johnson , Stanley Riley and Arthur Westlund . - The fourth of July draws near , the day when America celebrates the anniversary of its Declaration of Independence . Our boys are away overseas fighting to preserve for us the four freedoms , fighting to strike down the hellish hand of the dictators . God bless them and bring them home again . Here in Oceana county we too are fighting a battle on the home front , a bat- tle for freedom to till our fields as we see fit , to till them as fathers tilled them since this county began . Lined up against us are the crew of the gravy train , the parasites of agriculture , the stool ligeuns who would rather go around at $ 6 a day telling the other fel- low how to farm instead of staying at home and farming themselves . Perhaps they are anxious to put this noxious thing across so they can get more work on the snoop committee which could come around- to every farm in Oceana county , to every Victory garden , into every back yard and front yard outside of the incorporated villages if this e ection carried , which God forbid . Under such a set - up you could he fined or imprisoned if you were found violating any of the land - use regulations or soil practices . If you failed to conform , a bunch of WPA workers could march upon your land and loiter and loaf and perhaps build terraces , dykes , contours and the devil only knows what not . The bill might amount to several hundred dollars and if you don't pay the bill you lose your farm for taxes . Don't tell me this law doesn't have teeth in it . Don't let them tell you these drastic penalties are put into the law just to fill up space . They mean what they say , and bye and bye someone will suffer . Someone will be caught in the bear trap , and maybe it might be you . There are powers at work trying to take the independent American farmer and tighten the grip on his wrist . There are forces at work to get the farmer ; into a state of whipped obedience so he will have to bow and make obeisance and ask the higher ups if he even wants to plow or cultivate bis land . These stool pigeons are egging this thing on so they can profit by your shackeled condition . Too much alphabetical soup already . Save Oceana from the overloards . Get out to the election Saturday , June 26 and vote NO and save our farms from the dictators . Let's keep the flag of the free . Even though it is springtime it is none to early to fill your coal bins for next winter , says Charles L. Flory of Shelby Ice & Fuel Co.

Guernsey Calf for sale at Silver Hills Farm . Floyd Krantor , Buy War Savings Stamps and Bands and help win the war . Bring in